Ryan Anzures

Flight Jacket

2012-01-20T20:22:00.000-05:00

Hand Painted an Avirex Type B-15 Flight Jacket

Painting, Patience, and Acceptance

2012-01-19T11:05:00.011-05:00

Been developing a new style of painting recently, where I accept lines drawn out with patience and an emptied mind, rather than to force a preconceived idea of what the painting should be.

I've learned the same idea can be applied to life. The more you can let go and accept what the world brings you, the easier and less forced things become.

Here are 3 examples.

Veganism and Animal Liberation

2012-01-12T08:44:00.019-05:00

People often ask me why I don't eat meat, here is one answer.

Animal Rights as quoted by Wikipedia.

"Animal rights, also known as animal liberation, is the idea that the most basic interests of non-human animals should be afforded the same consideration as the similar interests of human beings."

And here are Others...

Humans are Animals and Animals are Humans too.

Have Respect for All Things and All Things will have Respect for You.

I'm Practicing the Golden Rule.

New Site

2012-01-02T12:40:00.008-05:00

New Site for the New Year.

Thanks to my brother for designing it.

Enjoy.

RyanAnzures.com

David Byrne On Architecture and The Evolution of Music

2011-12-27T15:19:00.008-05:00

David Byrne correlates the architecture of musical venues and platforms to the evolution of musical development throughout history, showing how much the environment plays upon the evolution of, not only the musical sound, but also of the entire ecological and sociological system...

If you also take into account how much music plays a large role in the development of the people in that same sociological system.

David Byrne @ TedTalk

Andrew Jackson Davis

2011-12-22T21:18:00.002-05:00

A few suggestions from Andrew Jackson Davis, seer and clairvoyant of the 19th century.

In the morning, be resolved to do nothing against, but everything for, the Kingdom of Heaven on earth.

At night, retire in peace with yourself – at peace with all the world.

Be content with the Past, and with all it has brought you.

Be thankful for the Present, and all that you have.

Be patient for the Future, and for all it promises to bring you.

If...

2011-12-18T09:53:00.006-05:00

by Rudyard Kipling

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Taoism: Wu Wei

2011-12-15T21:52:00.009-05:00

An Important concept in Taoism is Wu Wei, which can be translated into English as "without action," in other words, to exhibit a sense of natural action with no effort on one's part.

Bruce Lee taught this concept in Jeet Kun Do, Miles Davis exhibited this with Bitches Brew, and Pablo Picasso was able to paint in this manner for Les Demoiselles d'Avignon.

It's product is a raw and natural representation of what the body can accomplish without the limitation of the mind.

Here is an excerpt from the Tao Te Ching on the subject:

The Sage is occupied with the unspoken
and acts without effort.
Teaching without verbosity,
producing without possessing,
creating without regard to result,
claiming nothing,
the Sage has nothing to lose.

You must determine when to act and when not to act, which one can master by observing and being in tune with one's feelings, rather than the thoughts of the mind. You must give up the false sense of control that your ego demands of you, and you must flow with the will of the Universe, which is inherently, your own will and manifest destiny.

Also, Here is an old Chinese Fable with Wu Wei sentiments in action.

A man has a horse to work the fields and the horse runs away one day. The man's son becomes very anxious and worried that they will not be able to work the fields without the horse. The father says do nothing (wu wei) this may be a blessing. A few days later the horse returns with a group of horses. The father and son are very happy because of their luck and now have many horses to work the fields. Since they have so many horses the son is now able to ride a new horse daily. His father warns him not to take so much pride and to stop riding the horses, but the son ignores him. One day the son falls from the horse that he was riding and breaks both of his legs. All the neighbors come to tell the father this is terrible luck as his son will be unable to help in the fields. The wise father tells his neighbors, do nothing (wu wei) this may be a blessing. A few weeks later war breaks out in the region and all the young men are taken off to fight in the war. Many of the boys die; however, the son who has broken his legs is unable to leave and fight and his life was spared.

So I suppose the moral of the story is that patience and non action ( Wu Wei ) can prove to have promising results in the end. With everything there is a balance, a positive brings a negative and a negative, a positive.

The Enlightened One

2011-12-14T20:55:00.002-05:00

Quotes from Buddha.

Strive on with diligence.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.

Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.

Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes.

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?

I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.

I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done.

Pharoah Sanders

2011-12-14T14:19:00.000-05:00

Great Interview with Pharoah Sanders.

Music should always be about expressing yourself and letting what's inside of you come out.

Pharoah Sanders: Message From Home

What Life is Really For

2011-12-14T03:58:00.001-05:00

i wear my heart on my sleeve
i'll tell you no more lies
you want the truth from me
just look into my eyes

see thee madness behind the darkened hues
Would you really want to ask Jesus
if you could walk in His shoes?

i have sipped from the cup of life
to only beg of more
its like a sip of absynthe
that leaves you on the floor

and why you ask why
I beg for more
cus what doesn't kill
you makes you stronger
and teaches you what life
is really for

so drink and be merry
and question life no more
soon you will find out
what life is really for

On Success

2011-12-13T11:26:00.036-05:00

"Success," to me, is being able to express one's self to the fullest extent possible...

In doing so, Creating something beautiful, Meaningful, and Unique, which every single one of us is capable of.

Often times the most innovative of works are not appreciated in it's own time due to its jarring differences from what the public percieves as acceptable at any given time.

Recognition, in my opinion, does not make something successful.

The success of something relies only in its creation and one's ability to manifest an idea, therefore all things created are successful and beautiful.

You must see the beauty in all things and not just what is publicly recognized as beautiful and successful.

We are all beautiful in our own ways, it's just hard to see it when you are bombarded with ideas of what the meaning of "Success" is and chasing after it's notions.

Success is just an illusion... like most everything else in this world, there to keep you focused on an idea, rather than to be focused on living your life everday to the fullest, which I believe is the true meaning of Life.

I believe it is one's objective to have no goal to pursue. In this thinking, success and failure are taken out of the equation and true self expression can be reached.

You are able to stay and appreciate the present moment without having to attain certain goals. Satisfaction can only be attained in the present moment.

Rise above The desires of Success and the act of creating and self expression will come out flawlessly and effortlessly.

We are given a gift everyday and we must treat it as such.

The Radient Child: Jean Michel Basquiat

2011-12-12T20:20:00.004-05:00

Great Documentary on Jean Michel Basquiat.

One of the purest and most unselfish geniuses I have encountered.

The Radient Child: Jean Michel Basquiat

Miles Davis: A Different Kind of Blue

2011-12-08T22:53:00.003-05:00

A Great Documentary on Miles Davis and his excursions into Electrified Jazz Music, featuring commentary from Herbie Hancock, Keith Jarrett, Chick Correa, Carlos Santana, Gary Bartz and others.

A Genius and his work...

A Different Kind of Blue

Horace: Carpe Diem: Seize The Day

2011-12-02T18:37:00.004-05:00

Happy Birthday to my Dad..

From Odes 1.11 by Horace (in Latin and English)

Tu ne quaesieris, scire nefas, quem mihi, quem tibi
Don't ask (it's forbidden to know) what end

finem di dederint, Leuconoe, nec Babylonios
the gods have granted to me or you, Leuconoe.
Don't play with Babylonian

temptaris numeros. ut melius, quidquid erit, pati.
fortune-telling either. How much better it is to endure whatever will be!

seu pluris hiemes seu tribuit Iuppiter ultimam,
Whether Jupiter has allotted to you many more winters or this final one

quae nunc oppositis debilitat pumicibus mare Tyrrhenum:
which even now wears out the Tyrrhenian sea on the rocks placed opposite

sapias, vina liques et spatio brevi —
be wise, strain the wine, and scale back your long hopes

spem longam reseces. dum loquimur, fugerit invida
to a short period. While we speak, envious time will have {already} fled

aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.
Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future.

Jim Morrison on Live Performance

2011-11-29T11:36:00.002-05:00

Jim Morrison equates live musical performance with shaman rituals and religious experience and Ray Manzereck talks about the communal properties that live rock shows exhibit. I agree.

10 minute Interview of The Doors

Folkways Records

2011-11-09T14:40:00.008-05:00

My new favorite old nonprofit record label, Folkways Records, who are currently maintained by The Smithsonian Institute since 1986 and are now Smithsonian Folkways.

Their album artwork by Ronald Clyne is amazing and the variety of music from Folk to Field Recordings to World Music is inspiring.

Some of my favorite's right now are Cisco Houston, Dave Van Ronk, and of course, Huddie "LeadBelly" Ledbetter.

Have a Listen.

Skype Video Show With Bo Lee

2011-11-09T08:00:00.010-05:00

After the success of the Skype Interview I did with my friend, Bo Lee, we decided to do a weekly variety show, somewhat in the style of Wayne's World...

Basically, recording a normal conversation we would have between the two of us. Me playing Garth to Bo's Wayne... as funny as that sounds.

This one started out a bit slow but it gets interesting, talking about Metallica and Lou Reed’s LULU, Glitch Art, Ray Kurzweil and I get to play some stuff I've been working on.

On a side note... for someone that's trying to get away from the use of modern day technology, I seem to be using alot of it lately. I hardly understand it myself, I am a walking contradiction... but I feel that everything contradicts itself... Yin and Yang, the balance of opposing forces.

I've come to believe that this is the nature of the world... love and hate are equal emotions, you can not hate something without truly loving it, and vice versa. This is the way I feel about most things in life. We must have a respect for all things... beyond what we perceive them to be.

Anyway, enjoy the show...

Party on Bo... Party on Ryan...

Children's Poetry for Adults

2011-11-07T09:24:00.010-05:00

Would The World Be So Bad?

Would the world be so bad
if we were all just blind?

We wouldn't judge by color
or the the material we find

We can all just focus
on the all the beautiful things

We wouldn't need to mine for
gold and diamond rings

Would the world be so bad
if we were all just dumb?

We wouldn't need to argue
who were better than some

We wouldn't need to fight each other
over land and stupid things

We could all just be happy
with what life brings

So would the world be so bad
if we were all just blind

We could all just be naked
and no one would mind

Thoughts on Sharing and Zen Buddhism

2011-11-07T08:57:00.011-05:00

What good is something that you have made if you are not able to share it with others. If a tree falls in a forest, but nobody hears it fall, does it make a sound...

If I make music but nobody else hears it, have I really made music...

Still trying to figure out life and the optimal way to use my time on this earth.

Life is like quicksand, the more you struggle, the harder it is to get out... but I guess also, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Here's to becoming stronger in the struggle and learning to free ourselves from it.

Bo The Man Interviews The R.A.D.

2011-10-26T12:07:00.011-04:00

I had the privilege and honor to be the first interviewee of a new series of Skype based interviews done by my friend, video artist / film maker, Bo Lee of I Love Video.

Bo has also directed and collaborated with me on my music videos and also the short film,"A Beautiful Struggle."

I did a couple acoustic songs during the interview and talked about my musical process and life philosophies. I had fun making it. Thanks go to Bo Lee for allowing me to be his first guest.

Check it out.

Through Your Eyes

2011-10-25T13:07:00.011-04:00

I wanna know a world
Where babies don't cry
I wanna know a world
Where no one has to die
I wanna know a world
Where no one goes cold
I wanna know a world
Where you're never too old

Is it too much to ask for
All of these beautiful things
Or Should I Learn to Accept
What this Life has to bring?

I wanna know a world
Where there are no lies
I wanna know a world
Through Your Eyes
I wanna know a world
Where Everything makes sense
I wanna know a world
Beyond a white picket fence

Is it too much to ask for
All of these beautiful things?
Should I just learn to take
What life has to bring?

Is it too much to ask for
All of these beautiful things?
Should I just learn to love
What this life has to bring?

I wanna know a world
Where there are no goodbyes
I wanna know a world
Through Your Eyes
Is that really too much to ask for?
Someone tell me why
I'm just way too tired
To tired to cry.

I wanna know a world
I wanna know a world
Where There are no lies
I wanna know a world
Through Your Eyes

New Music Video #2: The Smokey Mirror

2011-10-16T10:19:00.005-04:00

Title: "The Smokey Mirror"
Artist: The R.A.D.
Direction: Stefan Belavy

Second video premier for the Prometheus Unbound E.P.

Big thanks go to Stefan Belavy, a.k.a. TechnoSoul, for hooking up the direction and editing. Check out his site for more amazing work.

Good luck in Oakland!

New Music Video #1: Prometheus Unbound

2011-10-11T15:05:00.018-04:00

Title: "Prometheus Unbound"
Artist: The R.A.D.
Direction: Bo Lee
Dance and Choreography: Michelle Lee

Shot on location in Seoul, South Korea under SCA standards. Thanks go to Bo Lee for the direction, editing, and filming and Michelle Lee for the amazing choreography and dance.

Check out more of Bo's work at The Blinc Collective.

Enjoy.

Trust Your Self And Fear Nothing

2011-10-11T10:17:00.005-04:00

We must understand the motivations behind our fears, thoughts, and actions to be able to trust and understand ourselves. This sometimes can only be found in times of isolation and solitude, with no influence from the outside world, much akin to the Buddha's meditation under the Bodhi Tree.

I've learned that you must Trust Your Instincts... When you feel something is necessary to be done, Just Do It... Do It beyond the judgement of others... You can choose to do it your way or theirs. I'll be like Frank... I'll do it My Way.

Do it without any thoughts of failure or success, knowing an act upon instinct is a success within itself, do not let rewards and punishments dictate the solutions and actions to your motivations.

You must Trust Yourself without the prejudice of man's views of right and wrong, for the opinions of man are not infallible and change often.

To Trust in Yourself is To Fear Nothing, Knowing that Everything has a Purpose. To Know Purpose is to Question Nothing and Be Satisfied By Everything. To be Satisfied by Everything is to Want Nothing, To Want Nothing is To Be Invincible.

Thoughts on Change and Zen Buddhism

2011-10-08T15:19:00.004-04:00

I have come to realize that things do not change. A rock will always be a rock, a tree will always be a tree, and I am who I am, was, and will always be.

However, what can change is the perception we believe things to be. In Zen Buddhism mentality, nothing is rigidly defined as anything. Therefore anything has the possibility to be anything...

Everything and Anything is Limitless as long as we believe it to be such. Perception equals Reality because Reality doesn't exist, Reality is only created by what we Perceive.

We must see the world, with no limitations and judgements of what things are "suppose" to be, and to see that Everything is Everything. To see the world beyond the prejudice of perceptions and preconceived notions is to see reality, to be able to love your neighbor as yourself, and to be mindful of the world around us.

I am not a perfect man and I no longer strive to be anything, able to accept myself as who or what I am, and knowing that perfection does not exist. It is just a condition that your mind creates to keep you from enjoying what you have in the present moment. When you are always striving for what you do not have, you can not enjoy the things that you do.

Let's enjoy what we have and be thankful for everything we are given. When you are able to do that, you can understand what true happiness really is.

Nirvana Freedom: Thich Nhat Hanh

2011-10-05T10:00:00.002-04:00

Remove Wrong Perceptions Through Meditation.

Remove Wrong Perceptions, Remove Suffering.

Nirvana Is the Removal of Ideas that Serve the Base of Misunderstanding and Suffering.

The Notion of Death Does Not Apply to Reality.

Non Fear is the True Foundation of Great Happiness.

Nirvana is the Freedom of Views. In Buddhism, all views are wrong views.

Thich Nhat Hahn on Nirvana Freedom

One Plus One Is Three

2011-09-30T08:53:00.040-04:00

I am the Sum of my Experience
One Plus One is Three
The World and My Surroundings
Make Me who I will Be

I am Who I am...
I am You and You are Me
Together we are Everything
You and Me makes Three

Father, Son is Holy Ghost
Of this I truly See
The Universal Everything
You and Me is We

To Build a Bright Future
We must Learn from the Past
Be Mindful of the Present
Live Everyday as Our Last

Remove the Judgement
That Blinds our Eyes
So that We Can truly See
That I am You and You are Me
And that One plus One is Three

Redefinition: The Swastika

2011-09-26T17:44:00.008-04:00

For too long, in the western world, the swastika has been perceived as a symbol of hate, from its use by the Nazi party in the early parts of the 20th century.

However, in the eastern world, the swastika is perceived as a symbol of good luck, well being, and fortune, and has been in use as a symbol for a couple thousand years by Eastern Religions such as Hinduism, Buddhism, and Taoism.

I believe that the swastika is a beautiful and bold symbol that should be appreciated, and not hated due to it's affiliation with certain parties. Anybody can take any symbol, and depending on how it is used, can make it a beautiful thing or an ugly thing.

With this understanding, that truth, meaning, and beauty is only distinguished and perpetuated by the beholder, I believe it's about time to have this beautifully balanced mark become a symbol of peace and prosperity, once again, and to recondition the mentality that the viewer perceives this symbol to communicate.

Let's redefine and mentally recondition, not just the swastika, but other symbols, objects, countries, people, worlds, cultures, religions, etc. etc. and start to see the beauty in things, rather than the hate that blinds us from seeing the truth...

That we are all the same, we are all one, and to hate anything is to hate yourself.

Let's learn to love again.

Freedom At Last / On the Road to Emptiness

2011-09-26T09:13:00.016-04:00

Freedom At Last

Crawling through a Rainbow
Tripping in the Clouds
Just to find my way to you
But you can't be Found

Visions of Illusions
Blind me on my Path
Lead me to my Freedom
Freedom at Last

On the Road To Emptiness

On the Road to Emptiness
Hoping to Touch the Sky
Feeling all alone in this World
Almost losing Hope to try

Screaming, only Whispers heard
Everybody thinks I lie
Drowning in a Sea that's Empty
Hoping for some Wings to Fly

Walking down a lonely path
Seems like my lifetime's passed
Looking for my purpose in life
Is it really here at last?

I've seen the long road
With memories that sting
Some good, but mostly bad
But I wouldn't change a thing

Cus I feel in this life
Is nothing but the good and bad
Life's that happy ending
That we all know will turn out sad

So just enjoy the ride
And listen to who you want to be
Only you know what you want
Open up your eyes and see

Praise Projecting Our Faults

2011-09-20T12:09:00.005-04:00

It is of my understanding, through studying and being the observer of my own thoughts and actions, that we, as human beings, project our own faults, as well as our praises, onto everything around us ( people, objects, activities, etc..) We are all just one being, reflecting the self in everything we come in contact with.

So in basic principles, the way an individual views the world, and anything in it, is how they, internally, feel about themselves, i.e. If you hate yourself you will hate your surroundings, if you love yourself you will love your surroundings and in effect you will subconsciously put yourself into the positions and environments that reflect the feelings that you have about the self. So be mindful of the feelings you have of your surroundings because it is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself.

Also with this statement, we can only have ourselves to blame, or to praise, for the situations that we encounter throughout our lives. And so how the emotions of hate and love, of the self, ebb and flow throughout this lifetime, so will the conditions that life and love has to offer.

If you ever find yourself in a position that you dislike, do not be quick to make judgements about those around you, but look inside of yourself to understand what it is that you are projecting into the situation and why you have put yourself into that position in the first place.

And in like mind, when you find yourself in situations and positions that you do like, try to understand what it is about yourself and your actions that you do like, so you can continue onto that path of bliss, with those thoughts and actions in mind.

I have come to understand that humans are good people, when it comes down to it, and want to share and to give. It is when we do not share and take more than we give, that we begin to have a dislike and distrust for the self, and in effect, put ourselves into the compromising positions the world seems to offer, when it's not the world to blame but the self.

So let's continue to learn, to share, and to give, not only for the good it does for the world, but for the good it does for the self, as well.

Dr. Seuss: Oh, The Places You'll Go

2011-09-16T12:35:00.003-04:00

Here's some advice from Dr. Seuss as I embark into my 30's.

"Today is your day." Happy Birthday.

Oh, The Places You'll Go

The Boy That Felt No Pain

2011-09-14T13:05:00.009-04:00

A children's story I wrote...

There once was a boy that felt no pain
So he had no real reason to complain

Tried as he tried
He could feel nothing, not even shame
He lived all his life as if it were a game

He thought everybody else was to blame...

He played and he bounced
He ran and he trounced
But soon he got tired
And lost all he admired

But still the boy felt no pain...

There once was a girl that felt no pain
She could not even feel the rain

Tried as she tried
She could feel nothing, not even joy
She questioned that she might be Venus As A Boy

She even thought maybe she must just be a toy...

She ran and she followed
She cleansed and she wallowed
But still she got tired
And lost all she desired

But still the girl felt no pain...

Until one day..

A magnetic response of the Universe's doing
Brought the two together while Bitches were Brewing

The music did play
Though they were Miles away
They felt the response
Of each other's nonchalance

And that's when they learned what it was like to feel pain...

For they were just too far away.

But they didn't like this feeling
Like in a church they were kneeling
Or a scab they were peeling

So to relieve the pain
The boy called the girl
And told her his true feelings
Expecting to hear the same

But what the boy didn't know,
Though her feelings did grow

Was that she was to be wed to another.

And that's when he learned what it's like to feel more pain.

So tried as he tried,
He could feel nothing inside
It was almost as though he had already died

Though he didn't know
She had felt the same...

Because how could he know
He couldn't even stand the sound of her name...
And he finally understood he was the only one to blame

One day...
The phone rang while the boy was sleeping
Or was it that he was weeping
Or maybe still he was just sweeping.

Anyway, the phone rang
"Ring ring, Ring Ring,"
Clammered the phone.

"Hello," the boy answered,
But he heard nothing back
"Hello," the boy said again
And heard nothing still.

So he hung up the phone
And sighed a load moan
And then a deep groan.

He then heard a tap at the door
And he wondered what that could be for

So he opened the door and guess who he saw...

He saw the girl that felt no pain

And he once again became, the boy that felt no pain.

And they lived happily ever after... with no pain.

Amen.

Horton Hears a Who

2011-09-12T14:48:00.002-04:00

Classic Dr. Seuss tale about an elephant that discovers living beings on a speck and the persecution, and ultimately the triumph, that occurs when one is able to see, hear, and feel things others can not.

"A person is a person, no matter how small."

Horton Hears A Who by Dr. Seuss

Lou Reed: Metal Machine Music

2011-09-07T17:26:00.003-04:00

One of my all time favorite recording artists, Lou Reed speaks about his seminal noise music album, Metal Machine Music.

Avant Garde, Experimental, and Groundbreaking ideas from an American Master.

Life Is But A Dream

2011-09-06T18:50:00.008-04:00

I've been practicing a lot of spiritual and mind opening techniques, learned from the different spiritual sources available to us, Buddhism, Taoism, Judaism, etc... mostly to gain happiness and perspctive in this world.

I've found the things that I have been practicing, i.e. Fasting, Solitude, Compassion for the Self, Fearlessness, and the use of total and brutal Honesty, amongst other things, has allowed me to gain a higher level of consciousness to the point that I have come to realize that this world is not what it seems to be.

I have a theory that we all might just be dreaming right now, or something to that effect. I know it sounds far fetched but, until you have seen and experienced certain things it will be hard to believe.

We, as a people, have become so attached to Earthly Possessions, Carnal Knowledge, The Pursuit of Happiness, and this "Dream World" that we don't want to believe that any of this might not be real, or at least try to fathom the idea, for it will contradict everything that we believe, everything that we "know," and that's a pretty tough pill to swallow. I believe life is a contradiction in itself anyway, so it's not so hard for me.

Rather than moving on beyond the limitations of the flesh, the mind, and the body, we would rather keep ourselves in the constant state of fear and suffering that The Buddha, himself, has determined life to be.

Well I don't plan on suffering for too much longer. Be it by my own hand or by the will of what we call "God," I will be free. I will use my words to awaken my actions and free myself from the suffering that this Earthly existence imposes on us everyday.

The Four Agreements

2011-09-01T10:28:00.006-04:00

I recommend The Four Agreements, a book written by Don Miguel Ruiz, to anybody that wants to gain personal freedom over the fears and insecurities that plague the human mind.

The Four Agreements are:

Be Impeccable with Your Word

Don't Take Anything Personally

Don't Make Any Assumptions

Always Do Your Best

I believe if you practice these 4 simple rules, consciously and consistently, in your everyday life, you will be able to see the truth of the world around us and to transcend into a higher form of consciousness. I feel it is working for me.

Have a read for yourself, have an open mind, and put these words into action.

Thank you Marcie, for the book.

Children's Story: Boy as a Cup

2011-09-01T08:33:00.009-04:00

Wrote a new children's short story from a dream I had last night. Enjoy...

Dreamt of a boy as a cup.

Spirits and things are in everything, they communicate with us in all sorts of ways.

I had a dream that a boy was turned into a phone and a cup... that bugged me by acting up.

He was able to travel to the future... and told me of things to be.

I saw visions of a zipper on a girls finger…. as though it were a ring.

I saw the boy as a glass cup that told me of everything.

Before that he was a phone...

He would ring and text,… would not leave me alone.

Before that he was still a boy…. and on a roller coaster we did enjoy.

At the end of the dream he was turned into a cup.

He was filled with water that got drank up.

But that is when I woke up.

And I wrote the story of a boy as a cup.

The Strangest Secret

2011-08-29T17:37:00.004-04:00

" The Strangest Secret "

Truly inspiring ideas.

"We become what we Think about."

-Earl Nightingale

Live Acoustic Recording: Prometheus Unbound

2011-08-13T10:25:00.036-04:00

New Live Acoustic Recording of a song I wrote last year.

" Prometheus Unbound " was written about that struggles of people that try to share something new with humanity and the hardships that come along with that process, using Prometheus, Jesus Christ, and Hercules as the archetypes.

I used no filters and allowed myself to accept everything about the way I create music in an acoustic and live setting, unconditionally, without any editing or hiding behind the computerized affects I have used in the past.

Essentially, I am embracing myself and my music, in the now, for what it is and will no longer attempt to conform to the standards that the mainstream would like us all to conform to, whether it be music or life itself.

Enjoy.

The Questions On My Mind

2011-08-08T13:56:00.006-04:00

When You Love a Person
that Doesn't Love You
what are You Really
sUppose to do?

Do You Fight for there Love
or do You Move on?
Do You Wish For a Dream
that You Know is Gone?

Do Dreams
Ever Really Die?
Are there Truths
inside our Lies?

should We hold on
to things from Our Past?
Is Love Eternal,
Does it Last?

Or is the Key
To Let Go
Let Each Other
Learn to Grow

To fInd Some Peace
To Let it Rain
Let Go of Sorrow
let Go of Pain

These are the Answers
I want to Find
These are the Questions
On My Mind.

Creation Without Thinking

2011-08-05T09:55:00.010-04:00

I have come to my own determination that this Universe was probably created by accident, as I have come to believe that the most beautiful of all things are created without any thought and intent, which get in the way of the act of the natural creation process.

In understanding this, I will no longer willfully create with intent, but shall live and enjoy the creations that come out of the process of living by forming my actions around my feelings and not my mind.

Here's to thinking and living outside of the box.

Quotations: Malcom X

2011-07-29T08:31:00.007-04:00

Starting to get into the philosophies of human rights activist, Malcom X.
Here are 3 of His quotes I'm teaching myself to stand by.

"If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything."

"Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it."

"The future belongs to those who prepare for it today."

You Can Already See The Next Level

2011-07-27T10:29:00.014-04:00

Fight man made materials
All that glitters is gold
Let go of everything
That our hands can hold

How can you Accept life
When you're hands are not free?
How can you move forward
If you can't even see?

Realize the real lies
And recognize the truth
Unlearn the hate
And return to our youth

Responsibility lies
On each of our backs
We bear only our crosses
We make our own facts

So let's create a new World
One with no lies
We can all be Kings
Keep your eyes on the Prize

We must walk a lonely path
In this We must Revel
We must know no evil
To get to the next level

We must Just understand
That we're already Free
Just learn some Patience
You Can Already See.

The Process of Life: Learning Through The Delta Blues

2011-07-22T09:57:00.013-04:00

Started to listen to more Blues music lately, after watching the movie, Crossroads, recommended to me by my dad. Delta Blues mostly, the legends... Robert Johnson, Son House, Lead Belly.

Through listening to their music, I've come to realize that life is about the process, rather than the outcome and to really enjoy this life we must embrace that process, from the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, the victories and the defeats.

I believe that the true victory of life is to learn to accept defeat and to be humble in victory. That's what I'm trying to teach myself, anyway.

Thank you to all that have taught me how to be victorious in defeat, something I feel is the backbone of the Blues.

Zen Buddhism and Emptiness

2011-07-21T15:45:00.006-04:00

My favorite human beings have been able to create total Soul touching beauty, expressing pure feeling by not thinking and just doing, and letting the universe enter their consciousness by emptying their minds.

I relate it to the Zen Buddhist philosophy of Emptiness, total awareness with no mind.

Here are 3 of my heroes that have been able to do just that in their respective fields of accomplishment.

Bruce Lee

Pablo Picasso

Jimi Hendrix

The Art of Mindful Sharing: Lao Tzu

2011-07-20T10:17:00.006-04:00

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a Lifetime."

-Lao Tzu

Hopefully, also, when you give a man a fish, you're also teaching that man to share a fish.

Let us all learn to share the wealth and knowledge that exists for Everyman to have.

Free your self of your possessions, mentally, as well as, physically and free yourself of the burdens that those possessions have placed on your shoulders.

Before the Pleasure

2011-07-20T09:26:00.006-04:00

Sometimes you have to search
To get what you want
Life is a foolish game
To Prey and To Hunt

I've come to understand
That you have to choose a side
You're either the one chasing
Or you're the one that tries to hide

I've rid myself of hiding
From the thing I'm suppose to be
The prey has become the hunter
To live a life that's free

Cus after the storm comes a rainbow
And after the pain, the healing
After you hit the floor
You can only fly through the ceiling

This is just how life works
I've come to understand
When you don't get what you want
When you don't get what you have planned

But with that comes experience
You learn to dance in the rain
Cus before the pleasure
You must first go through the pain

Look Forward

2011-07-19T18:20:00.003-04:00

Oh what it is of life...
Am I to not want anything more than what I have
Be content with my surroundings and not so much as to ask for anything more than the perfection that this singular moment in time is.

Or am I to want...
But if I am to want, I will want with the eyes of a glutton in search for the wings of an angel

I lack the moderation that allows men to fly
I am so filled with thought that I can't even float, let alone fly.
However, the mind will clear with the passing of the seasons and the scent of a woman.

Unless that day is today, I will only gladly relish in it.

So for now, I enjoy the perfection that is this moment,
But, I still look forward, to that day.

But always what
You enjoy have
Talk a lil rhymed song
Dance on rivers so Divine

You will see that life's just fine
You will see that life's just fine
You will see that life's just fine

Rare Jimi Hendrix Interviews

2011-07-06T04:41:00.006-04:00

A great interview with Jimi Hendrix. Interviewed by Meatball Fulton, who is able to have a more meaningful and personal interview, with Jimi, by not having any questions prepared, but actually listening and having a real conversation.

Jimi Hendrix interview by Meatball Fulton.

Truth and Beauty in Words: Anais Nin

2011-07-04T13:46:00.004-04:00

"We don't see things as they are, We see them as We are."

-Anais Nin

Found while reading It's Not How Good You Are, It's How Good You Want To Be. by: Paul Arden

Soulful Sounds: Cody Chesnutt

2011-07-03T09:46:00.022-04:00

Cody Chesnutt reminds me of why I started making music in the first place...

It's not about money, fame, or success.

It's to let my Soul be heard and inspire people to Do the same.

Live out your dreams beyond what anybody says, about anything, you should be doing with your life.

In the end of it all you can either live a life they want you to live or you can live a life You want to live.

Cody Chesnutt: The Seed ( Rare Acoustic Version )

Your Mind As a Computer

2011-07-03T09:09:00.008-04:00

Think of your mind as though it were a computer that needs to be programmed to operate and function.

We program and input the little things into ourselves everyday, from the people we surround ourselves with, the music we listen to, the food we eat, the websites we visit, and the environments we keep, etc, etc.

If we have an untidy and cluttered house, we will have an untidy and cluttered mind, if we eat food that is unhealthy, the mind will be as well, and so on and so on.

And in direct correlation the output and work that we produce will be in like kind.

However in vice versa, if we surround ourselves with peaceful and serene environments, interact with kind and thoughtful people, eat foods that promote a healthy lifestyle, and listen to music and watch television that inspires hope, love, understanding and knowledge, we will also be able to produce in like kind and our future generations will be able to do the same.

So be mindful of what you input into your mind and body everyday, because what you put in is also what you get out.

If not for ourselves, then for our future generations.

Making Sense of The World and Why Things Happen

2011-07-02T08:07:00.004-04:00

Everything happens for a reason. There is an order to the random circumstance of events that occur. Connect the dots and you will find your path to understanding your role in the world and ultimately, your enlightenment and peace.

When you are able to see this, you can see the world for what it truly is, and you can make sense of why things happen, you can even explain the unexplainable.

With an opened mind, You no longer see and judge as right and wrong or good and bad, but as it truly is without judgement, beyond what can even be defined in words, and only felt with the Soul.

That is why I Believe it is hard to even explain these concepts, because they can not be explained with the limitations of human language, they can only be felt.

One must understand that Everything happens for a reason, time heals all wounds, and we feel pain because it is the only way physical beings can learn.

As long as We are on this earthly existence, We all have something to learn.

Come As You Are

2011-06-30T08:58:00.002-04:00

Ask nothing more than what you are presented and the world will not ask anything more of you than to be yourself.

Come as you are and I will do the same.

People Around You

2011-06-29T07:51:00.003-04:00

See the world as though the people around you are the different versions of yourself in the different situations that life can present.

Learn from them ( as though you would act similarly ) if you were in their shoes and treat them as you would want to be treated.

Search for the True Self

2011-06-16T12:58:00.008-04:00

I've spent 29 years of my life trying to be something I wasn't, to live up to the expectations of others... my friends, my family, my ex girlfriends, and it has not brought me the true happiness, I've searched for, because I was always playing a role and putting on different masks to please my environment.

It has caused me to become tired of playing these different roles, that I had started on a search for my true identity and natural self.

But what I found out is that there is no self. There is just You in the present moment and that moment is constantly changing, along with the self.

So all I am really searching for is the environments that allow me to live and love in a non judgmental way and that has no expectations of what I should be and in vice versa, will allow me to not judge my environment.

I'm tired of surrounding myself with people that's actions are based around pleasing others rather than themselves because it only leads to bitterness, regret, and blame, when you learn that you are not making decisions for yourself but allowing your environment to. Something which you can only know through experience.

But I also feel life is about letting go, so ultimately a balance between control and chaos must be struck.

But what comes first, me not judging my environment or my environment not judging me?

Losing control or gaining it?

I think both will occur at the same time.

So all I ask of the people i choose to surround myself with is to not be judged and to have no expectations of who or what You or I should be and hopefully I will be able to do the same for myself and others.

Live and Let Be

2011-06-12T21:37:00.022-04:00

I never heard from you
So I wrote this song
To get you out of a place
You've been in way too long

The world doesn't seem real
When you connect the dots
You learn to let go of things
Like the haves and have nots

So now you're a memory.
You know, just like me
I've learned to let go of things
To live and let be

But the world doesn't seem real
When you learn to let go
Nothing seems to hurt you
When you learn to say so

You become invincible
You learn how to fly
You never have fears
You forget how to cry

And the world doesn't seem real
When you forget how to cry
You learn to love nothing
You learn how to die

You learn the meaning of Happiness
Is to Sing in the rain
You learn to Love others
Through all of the pain

And now you know the truth
You know it just like me
We've learned to let go of things
To live and let be

Love and Passion

2011-04-08T08:59:00.015-04:00

Have passion for the things you love to do, no matter if in the short term it seems like you gain nothing but hurt and pain from doing what it is that brings you certain levels of enjoyment in this life. In the long run, with the grace of the Universe, you will learn the great lesson that I feel life is here to teach us....

That there is a balance to everything... with the good comes the bad and the bad comes the good, so one should Live with a true passion for Life to the fullest extent possible, enjoy and learn from every moment, beyond even the voice of reason, what's going to happen is going to happen anyway, we can only choose to enjoy the ride or be fearful of it, and ultimately, that's the only choice we have in this world.

Psychological Drawings

2011-04-06T07:30:00.014-04:00

I have recently been dissecting myself and my inner psyche and subconscious thoughts through my old ball point pen drawings. These drawings are created from my subconscious, allowing the drawing to draw itself. In this way, I use No Mind in their creation and allow the primal subdivisions of my brain to communicate, rather than the forced, taught, and brainwashed portion of my mind.

It's true communication when you can speak to yourself outside of yourself, open to the true nature of one's mind as another entity instead of always defining the self as such a rigid structure... I or Me, rather than He, She, or It.

People often are more critical of the outside world around them than the inside, allowing the ego to control and blind the self from one's true nature... allowing the self to be controlled like a puppet, by the external forces that feed the ego everyday.

I battle the ego on a constant basis... it's a constant battle. I believe when you can let go of the ego, you can see reality for what it is, not blinded by the conditioned mind and its wants, needs and desires. One is less preoccupied with the trivial things in life and can walk along the path of the Tao towards one's true happiness.

I suppose rather than battling the beast, its best to just let go and tip toe along that fine line to one's destiny.

These are just the beliefs that I have incurred through the research that my life has become. I treat my actions and decisions with a sort of Scientific and Methodical approach. There's a Hypothesis deducted from Theory, an Experimentation process, and a Conclusion from that process. I do this in hopes that I may find the true happiness and peace I feel we are all looking for when binding ourselves in certain actions.

With all things, it is best to live a life rather than be told how to live a life. So don't take my words for it, Follow Your Bliss.

A Collection of Ball Point Pen Drawings and One Pencil Drawing.

Related Link: Child Art and Psychology, Genie Shanu.

Life is...

2011-04-01T14:09:00.005-04:00

Life is one big joke and they're all laughing at us.

I've figured out the joke, knowing that we're all the fools, and now I can laugh too.

Happy April Fools.

Heaven Sent Angels

2011-03-26T13:11:00.019-04:00

The Angels came from up Above
They came here to take away my Love
But I Cried...
" Take me instead "
The Angel cried back,
Said, " I was Already Dead "

5 Shots rang out
To my Surprise
He said, " Alright...
Now you may Rise,"
I opened my eyes
To my surprise
Saw my Love Standing There,
Before my Eyes.

It was all a Test to Test me,
To show me what's real in Life
What will set me Free.

So I thanked the Angel
And the Lord Above
For showing me Wisdom
Through all His Love.

Heaven Sent Angels
Heaven Sent Angels

Heaven Sent Angels
To Guide me
Heaven Sent Angels
To Set me Free

So He said, " OK
You've passed the Test
There's only one Thing
To do Before you may Rest,
You must tell the People
Of what you Know
Teach only of Peace
And watch them Grow."

" You can not have Hate
In your Mind
Or an Ugly world
Is what you will Find,
We must have Balance
Within our Brain,
Causing Harm to others
We must Refrain."

" And always Know
That I love You
No matter what they Say
Or what I may Do."

" Just understand that
It's for the Best...
This you must Teach
Before you may Rest."

Heaven Sent Angels
Heaven Sent Angels

Heaven Sent Angels
To Watch over me
Heaven Sent Angels
To Set me Free

To Know Avail

2011-03-23T15:15:00.014-04:00

Time flows Backwards
The Ticking of the Hands
Their Books only Remember
The single Man that Stands

Mother Revolves Around Sun
Scientific in her Ways
Upon time for Revolution
Start the End of Days

I Announce with Joy
The Washed don't Understand
Burdened with Possessions
Fed Well by the Hand

The Clock on the Wall
Has Run into Blank Pages
The Natives Predict
Man Free of all Ages

The Great Alchemist
Has come to set us Free
To show us Heaven's Pearls
And all Possibility

Fear is Nothing
Let us not be Afraid
The River is Wide
The Ferryman, Paid

Release unto Journey
Beyond Space and Time
To sit with King of Kings
To know the Sublime

To Know our Fathers
To Know the Pale
To Know the Freedom
To Know Avail

Lead us, Heavenly Father, Lead us

2011-03-22T08:27:00.001-04:00

A Poem by C.S. Lewis.

Lead us, Evolution, lead us
Up the future's endless stair:
Chop us, change us, prod us, weed us.
For stagnation is despair:
Groping, guessing, yet progressing,
Lead us nobody knows where.

Wrong or justice in the present,
Joy or sorrow, what are they
While there's always jam to-morrow,
While we tread the onward way?
Never knowing where we're going,
We can never go astray.

Jam Today!!!

2011-03-22T07:52:00.013-04:00

"Jam To-morrow" is an expression from Lewis Carroll's 1871 book Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There. In the story, the Queen doesn't allow Alice to have any jam until tomorrow... But with this expression, tomorrow never comes because it is always today and tomorrow is always that fleeting concept that can never be reached. It's like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey, or having a dog chase it's own tail. Something I feel this world does to us everyday.

At any rate, Alice doesn't even want the Jam and I don't either.

We are always looking towards tomorrow and future aspirations, rather than being focused on things that can be accomplished today. The mind would rather have us chase after the unattainable instead of taking advantage of what we have in the present moment and the unlimited possibilities of right now.

With that said, I'm done chasing my tail and am going to be thankful for what I have in the moment, rather than chase ideas, concepts, and material that isn't at hand in the Now.

I'm going to have my Jam Today, and I hope you do to.

Here is the excerpt from Lewis Carroll's 1871 book Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There, it is also one of Carl Jung's favorite passages.

"I'm sure I'll take you with pleasure!" the Queen said. "Two pence a week, and jam every other day."
Alice couldn't help laughing, as she said, "I don't want you to hire ME - and I don't care for jam."
"It's very good jam," said the Queen.
"Well, I don't want any TO-DAY, at any rate."
"You couldn't have it if you DID want it," the Queen said. "The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday - but never jam to-day."
"It MUST come sometimes to "jam to-day,"" Alice objected.
"No, it can't," said the Queen. "It's jam every OTHER day: to-day isn't any OTHER day, you know."
"I don't understand you," said Alice. "It's dreadfully confusing!"

'That's the effect of living backwards,' the Queen said kindly: 'it always makes one a little giddy at first--'
'Living backwards!' Alice repeated in great astonishment. 'I never heard of such a thing!'
'--but there's one great advantage in it, that one's memory works both ways.'
'I'm sure MINE only works one way,' Alice remarked. 'I can't remember things before they happen.'
'It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards,' the Queen remarked.

Heaven Sent Angels

2011-03-18T12:00:00.032-04:00

Currently working on a new E.P., hopefully to come out soon.

" Heaven Sent Angels " is a new E.P. with a focus on the concept of Accepting the Now and being Aware and Conscience of the Movements of the Universe.

The Universe works in Mysterious and Powerful ways Beyond the Comprehension of Man.

When One is totally immersed in the Now, One has the ability to, among other things, Feel and Comprehend these forces at Work, Accept and Be Blissful in any Environmental Condition, Understand and Accept Knowledge beyond Good and Evil, And Ultimately Understand One's Role in the Cosmic Universe.

It's on some real Jedi, Matrix, Buddha, Jesus, Mohammad, Cosmic Alignment type Consciousness.

You have to be able to Feel it to Believe it and Believe it to Feel it.

Like life, it is a torturous, but fulfilling, process when done correctly. If you intend to seek truth through any medium, you must first delve into the seedy under belly, pass through the fire and ultimately rise out of the ashes, exemplified as the embodiment of the Phoenix.

Inspired by Joseph Campbell's The Power of Myth, Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now, and the collective works of Carl Gustav Jung, especially on his concept of Synchronicity.

Musical Geniuses

2011-03-17T18:45:00.008-04:00

Been Listening to a lot of music from musical geniuses that have met their fate at an early age.

Jimi Hendrix
November 27, 1942 – September 18, 1970

John Lennon
October 9, 1940 – 8 December 8, 1980

Elliott Smith
August 6, 1969 – October 21, 2003

Love And Divinity

2011-03-11T10:44:00.004-05:00

To Love Nothing is To be Invincible

Love leads to Desire

Desire leads to Want

Want leads to Need

To Need Nothing is to be Invincible

To Need Nothing is to be Divine

To Know Everything You have in the Now is All that You Need is to Know Divinity

To Know Everything You have in the Now is All that You Need is too Need Nothing

To Need Nothing is to be Divine.

To Need Nothing is to have no Weakness

To Have no Weakness is to be Divine.

To Love Nothing is to be Divine

To Love Nothing is to Love Everything

To Love Everything is to be Divine.

Know Truth

2011-03-11T08:11:00.004-05:00

To Know Suffering is to Know Truth

To Know the Self is to Know Truth

To Know God and The Universe is to Know Truth

To Know Everything is God and The Universe is to Know Truth

To Whom or What It May Concern

2011-03-09T06:55:00.024-05:00

To Whom or What It May Concern,

I love You so much that I hate You
You are the only thing that i allow torture myself in this world
Because You are the only thing I live for

If not for You I would have taken the life out of this hollow body
And allowed another spirit to fill the cavities of space that hide behind these open eyes.
But it is also because of You that I think such thoughts in the first place
Don't you see the irony, don't you see the contradiction

You haunt in me... My dreams
Teasing me of thoughts... A perfect world
I want to believe that such a world exists
We should be together in that place
I go to bed hoping that we can meet if ever for just one night, if not forever.

But when I wake alone, I curse this world because You are not here
For in this one I have nothing, in the other I have everything

In the other I have You
In the other I have peace
In the other I feel no pain

Here... Here oh here is another story.
I feel pain
I feel torment
I feel guilt

That is what this world does to the Dreamers of this life
Using us as though we are some consumable resource
Using us in the same manner they use the cow and the chicken,
I don't want to be an animal anymore, I want to be Divine, I want to be You.

Forgive me if I do not find satisfaction with the world You have cursed upon me
I see reality, i see the inflections of You, I see Truth
There is Nothing... Copies of an original idea co opted by Your creations

I see You in everything
I hear Your voice in the song of a bird
I know Your wisdom in the glance of a tree
I breathe Your breathe with every inhalation I accept.

But I fear I have come to a point where I don't want to accept the lies any longer
I want to return back to Your arms where there are no lies, no desires, no needs
But I know not to Want and not to Fear... For they lead only to evil things

So I grow Patience, not because I want to hurt, but because I have to heal
And it is your path I accept, not the false material of this world.

I only walk upon the path that lay before me
With no knowledge of who or what lies at the end of my Fate
So I continue walking aimlessly knowing I have no control...

And accept that I am lost with nothing more.

The Truth: Sylvia Plath

2011-03-06T16:32:00.005-05:00

Beauty, Brains, Pure Honesty, and a Fearlessness of Death.

What's not to love.

May your Slumber be Divine: Sylvia Plath

One Day I Will Rise

2011-03-06T06:44:00.012-05:00

When I told you
The Earth was round
And not flat
You did not believe.

When I told you
The weight of metal
Can fly and float
You could not believe.

When I told you
I was the Son
Of God
You still did not believe...

The status quo of the world
Only believes with their eyes
When to truly believe
You must believe through their lies

I believe in you...
But do you believe in me?
Must I walk on water
Before you people will see?

Must I cure a blind man
Before you believe?
What tests must I pass
Before I am relieved?

I know, I know...
I have to make money appear...
That's the only real god
You people will fear...
Or bow to...
Or even revere...

Forgive me that I'm not green
With numbers on my back...
Not made of paper
And easily stacked.

Forgiveness also,
That my skin is not red...
Hold a fork in my hand
And have horns on my head.

So fuck your judges,
Your rules and your lies,
Because I truly believe
That one day I will rise.

When Last We Spoke

2011-03-04T07:11:00.012-05:00

When last we spoke
It was ages ago...

When last we spoke
I heard the whispers of Angels
When last we spoke
The Devils came near

When last we spoke
I felt pains in my stomach
When last we spoke
You said I had nothing to fear

So fear I hadn't...
The voices returned
So fear I wasn't...
I cast them aside

The devils came to test my fearlessness
But they saw I had nothing to hide

I told them last night I had no pride
I later found out, I had nothing but lied
But lied I hadn't, but instead I had laid
For the price of your love was the price I had paid

So I return for You, my Queen
With sorrow and pride
To ask for your forgiveness
With nothing to hide.

When Last We Spoke
When Last We Spoke
When Last We Spoke

Sound Experiments in 4 Movements

2011-03-03T10:02:00.007-05:00

Sound Experiments from composer, musician, poet, The R.A.D.

Movement I:
Post Adolescent Angst meets Metal Machine Music.

Movement II:
Meditative Bass Lines in the Maryland Woods.

Movement III:
Beat Nature with Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg.

Movement IV:
Jimi Hendrix and Sun Ra Time Travel to Mars and Back to Save Planet Earth.

Photo I.D.s

2011-03-02T13:19:00.005-05:00

Words from a recent email to my older brother on why I don't have a photo I.D. I can't fly on a plane anymore or even buy a pack of smokes, but the freedom is worth it. Why can't people trust each other enough to not have to carry identification... Oh that's right, most humans are degenerate liars.

"I'm over carrying around a photo ID. I don't get the point of it
besides having a number assigned to you like we're all prisoners that
need to be tagged and watched over. Just trying to get enough balls to
get off the grid at this point. I'm also over using printed money as
currency. I'm not going to let other people tell me how much something
is worth anymore, just because a piece of paper has some numbers on it
doesn't mean that it's worth more than other things, real and
beautiful things that can not be bought and sold.

This world commodifies everything, even us people. I'm over being
valued as a commodity of what I can do. Once you see that, you can
understand what's worth doing with this life more clearly.

Anyway, I'm still not at that point of being off the grid, so it's
hard to stick to those values when you're constantly bombarded with
advertising and people telling you of the unnecessary things we "need"
and what we should like and how to act, how to dress, and so on and so
on. Once you see how Big Brother has us brainwashed, you get disgusted
with things easily.

Future Shock is already here. Eveybody is just blind to it.

Maybe it's just my Bi Polar Paranoia talking, but I see through the bullshit."

Charles Mingus

2011-03-02T12:58:00.007-05:00

Mingus Mingus Mingus

Genius Genius Genius

Allen Ginsberg: America

2011-03-01T12:22:00.006-05:00

This is how I feel.

America: Allen Ginsberg

For You

2011-02-20T09:22:00.003-05:00

If I wished for You
And You wished for Me
Do You think that We could Live Happily?

If I walked in Your Shoes
And You Walked in Mine,

The World As We Know It
Would Be Just Fine.

Cus You Know We'd Know
All Each Others Pain,

And See Commonality
Inside Our Brain.

So If I Wished for You
And You Wished for Me,

I think that We Could Live Happily.

Let Go

2011-02-16T09:37:00.005-05:00

I had a long hiatus from writing in this blog for 4 months. In that period of time I had let go of all my material possessions, throwing even my most prized materials ( a Sigma acoustic guitar, a house key, and my record collection, amongst other things ) into the street or in the corridors of my Apartment building, feeling much like Ebenezer Scrooge at the end of Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol."

I feel that all my possessions were possessing me, rather than the opposite, controlling and dictating my actions to attain some sort of glorification of self and the maintenance of the false image that these items were projecting onto me.

With this simplification, one realizes what's true in this world, understanding that unnecessary burdens blind you from reality.

And to be honest, you don't need to search or fill your life with anything in this world. What you truly need will find you. All one has to do is to let go. A lot harder to do than to say, but it will bring you more joy than years of searching for something that, really, can never be found.

Life, Love, and Happiness must be given rather than taken.

It's all about Honesty and Respect for all things, what you give with an unbiased heart you will receive a thousand times over.

JIMI LIVES!!!

2011-02-09T18:28:00.010-05:00

I've figured out this world isn't real. How do you cope with that?

Listen to Jimi play the guitar, I guess.

Freestyle Friday #8: Approaching Horizon

2010-05-21T08:36:00.007-04:00

Good weather has finally hit New York City. I've been trying to take advantage of the goodness by being outside most of the time. Mostly on my bike hitting loops around Central Park and playing handball with the neighborhood kids, but I do still make time to play my bass.

This Freestyle Friday sounds like a bubbling and percolating of some good things to come, I'm hoping at least. Still not making any money, but at least I'm living the life I want to live, not confined to an office job or doing the other ridiculous things people have to do to chase money and a false sense of happiness and security.

I thank the universe for providing me with the opportunity to be able to live out my childhood dreams of being an artist and musician in New York City. Making music and art was never been about making money or getting fame, its always just been a form of self expression.

So thank you to everybody in my life that the universe has enabled me to live out my dreams. Hopefully you know who you are and hopefully you're living the dream too.

Freestyle Friday #8: "Approaching Horizon" as improvised by Ryan Anzures of The R.A.T.

Freestyle Friday #7: What Dreams Are Made Of

2010-05-14T15:52:00.007-04:00

I figured I'd continue the Freestyle Friday series with a series of all instrumental arrangements of bass parts. I've gotten a good response about "Racing Hearts" and thought I would continue with that idea for the moment.

So here's something I just free styled today, made from start to finish in about an hour or so. Kinda has a nice dream like feel with multi layered harmonies and a slow 6/8 timing. Have a listen.

Freestyle Friday #7: " What Dreams Are Made Of " as played on the electric bass by Ryan Anzures of The R.A.T.

Freestyle Friday #6: S.S.S.

2010-05-07T11:21:00.008-04:00

The last of the Freestyle Fridays for the moment.... S.S.S. comes straight out of the subconscious, pure raw expression through the strumming of a Vintage Japanese Fender Bass. Super Space Sexxx... enjoy.

And also available for download is the rough, rugged, and raw 6 track Freestyle Friday E.P. Have a listen.

Freestyle Friday #6:" S.S.S." as thought up by Ryan Anzures of The R.A.T.

Download: "The Freestyle Friday E.P." as compiled by The R.A.T.

Freestyle Friday #5: Iron Man

2010-04-30T21:20:00.018-04:00

I've always liked drawing and watching cartoons since I was a kid, especially the ones I grew up with, X-Men, Spider Man, The Ninja Turtles, Batman... I guess I always wanted to be one.

I see the super hero as a character with super human abilites, great intelligence, and righteous valor... but always have some sort of chip on their shoulders in terms of their place in society or from a psychologically damaging incident... which in turn allows them to achieve the extraordinary and crazy things they do.

They are viewed as outsiders, different from the norm, and are treated as such, in most cases, hated by law officials and mocked by mainstream society. The hero and super hero are the most misunderstood characters in all of written literature.

What is the hero motivated by?... I've come to realize that the hero and the villain are essentially the same character, but what separates the two are the motivations based around their actions.

The hero, I feel, looks beyond their own needs and acts for a greater good in determining his or her duty, while the villain acts towards the needs of the self. These ideas and sentiments are along the same lines as the concepts of the German philosopher, Immanuel Kant."An action, to have moral worth, must be done from duty."

With this Freestyle Friday I covered the classic Black Sabbath song "Iron Man" and in trying to understand, bassist, Geezer Butler 's mentality through his lyrics, I've come to understand the anger,isolation, and loneliness that he must have felt in writing the song, something I also understand from my own life.

Have a listen and let's all try to act in terms of a greater good.

Freestyle Friday #5: "IRON MAN" as recorded by The R.A.T.

Freestyle Friday #4: Everyone Else

2010-04-23T09:51:00.013-04:00

Growing up, I never really felt like I ever fit into the different social settings and environments I was thrust into by this world. From the family environment to school circles to job settings, I was always the odd man out, having a different perspective on things and never really feeling like I fit in.

In short, I was and still am the black sheep and quiet loner that gets stereo typed in movies like Taxi Driver and Buffalo 66.

Back then it was a struggle and to make it worse, this world brainwashes you into thinking you have to belong... and when you don't it can do a number on your self esteem.

Fast forward to present day and I still don't fit in. The only thing that has changed is my own perception of myself and who I am and not who they want or even expect me to be. I've gained a sense of security beyond self and the ego that so many in this world hide behind.

But to get that security, I've found that I had to destroy everything I've ever wanted in this world, with the understanding that what I wanted in this world to be false and based around the systematic brainwashing that occurs through every sort of environmental interaction we have. I had to go through a journey of the inner mind, battling inner demons and facing the evil that lies from within... pride and what it feeds, the ego. Like I've stated before... To want nothing is to be Invincible.

I feel I've gotten to a point where I don't have to lie to myself or anybody else because I'm secure enough with myself to not put stock in other people's perception of me and I don't have to feed my own perception of myself.

I'm happy with who I am, knowing that I'm human, I make mistakes, and that perfection has many shades of grey that is either impossible to attain or the easiest thing to do, depending on how you see things.

Anyway.. this Freestyle Friday is based around these concepts put to a kinda punk folk, all bass and vocal package. Have a listen and notice the quote sampled from Mohandas Gandhi.

"There is an indefinable mysterious power that pervades everything, I feel it though I do not see it. It is this unseen power which makes itself felt and yet defies all proof, because it is so unlike all that I perceive through my senses. It transcends the senses."

Freestyle Friday #4: "Everyone Else" as performed by Ryan Anzures of The R.A.T.

Everyone Else

I'm not like everyone else
I have nothing to hide
I''ve run through these streets naked
I let go all of my pride

I'm not like everyone else
Everyone likes to lie
I have nothing to lie about
I'm not afraid to die

I'll even tell you I love you
If you would do the same
I knew that you wouldn't though
cus love to you is a game

Why do we play these games?
Love is for fools
I've been searching for answers
But don't play by the rules

I'm not like everyone else
I have nothing to hide
I've run through these streets naked

I let go all of my Pride
I let go all of my Pride
I let go all of my Pride

Freestyle Friday #3: Smokin' Weed

2010-04-16T07:34:00.010-04:00

Anybody that knows me at all, knows that I like smoking weed. Bob Marley smoked it, Cody Chesnutt smokes it, shit even Bill Clinton smoked it.

We all have our vices, from gambling to sex to buying unnecessary shit to over working ourselves, etc. etc, it all serves the purpose to keep us distracted from the miserable conditions of the world around us. Mine just happens to be smoking weed.

"It's the only real way I've found to cope with this life." It's all natural and comes straight from the ground. I feel its the medicine delivered from the gods... maybe it should be used in moderation, but moderation doesn't seem to be a word I understand.

I've tried not smoking weed for a couple weeks and I've found that I've taken away the only thing that gives me any sort of satisfaction in this world, besides playing my guitar and making music.

Like Lou Reed, I feel, if you don't have anything to live for, you leave this world trying to find a better place. I guess that's what smoking weed allows me to do, leave this world for a little while and try to find some sort of world that I feel I belong to, because I don't belong in this one.

And if I have nothing to live for, what does that mean... I'm hoping its the state of emptiness that Buddhists speak of in terms of enlightenment. At least that's what I feel and experience in my daily life anyway.

There's just too much corruption in the world (or at least the one that I'm surrounded by) that I feel the need to numb myself from it. Nobody lives by a code of honor, nobody lives by the standards that they preach or at least expect from others.

Selfishness is the rule of this world and most are too blinded by the ego to really understand this statement. And if you feel an opposition to what I just wrote, I'm speaking to you. Wake up.

Anyway, I'm getting too preachy. Remember to not listen to anybody or anything but your own feelings and you will feel the freedom that life should be.

My feelings , for now, tell me I should be smoking weed to help cope with life, what's a boy to do.

Freestyle Friday: Smokin' Weed as played by Ryan Anzures of The R.A.D.

Smokin' Weed

Please don't hate me
Cus I like smoking weed
I got this urge
I got this need

It's the only real way
I cope with life
All of it's pain
It's miserable strife

Oh please Oh please
Don't hate me

I like smokin' weed
I do indeed

It calms me down
It helps me cope
I pray one day
It gives me hope

So please, Oh please
Don't hate me

I like smokin' weed
I do indeed

Oh Please Oh please
Don't hate me

It's all natural
Safe as can be

Better than those drugs
They like to prescribe
I'd rather eat shit
Than take a bribe.

So please, Oh please don't hate me
I like smoking weed
It's all natural
Safe as can be

Freestyle Friday #2:Happy Birthday Mom

2010-04-08T10:38:00.023-04:00

Gonna be hopping on a bus to the most magical place on the eastern seaboard, Atlantic City, NJ, to help my mom celebrate her 60th birthday on the 11th, so this Freestyle Friday comes a day early.

I pretty much grew up in the arcades there as a kid, so its sort of a homecoming as well, I think I've spent every major holiday there at least once, so it seems only fitting that my mom's 60th is there too.

It's only looking back on life that you really understand why things are the way they are...

Anyway, this Freestyle Friday comes with some lyrics about emptiness ( in terms of a Buddhist perspective ) and soul searching and all that other sappy shit nobody really likes to talk about, all rapped up in some sort of Prince vs. The Beastie Boys sound concoction. Sounds like a good idea, right? Maybe I didn't execute it right, but I'm on the fence with this one.

Trying some different sounds, hits and misses. Life, art, and music is all about experimentation, so don't be afraid to try different things. It allows you to find out first hand what your true tastes are, beyond what we are conditioned to think.

Happy Birthday Mom.

Listen: "On The Road To Emptiness" as performed and recorded by Ryan Anzures of The R.A.D.

On the Road To Emptiness

On the Road to Emptiness
Hoping to Touch the Sky
Feeling all alone in this World
Almost losing Hope to try

Screaming, only Whispers heard
Everybody thinks I lie
Drowning in a Sea that's Empty
Hoping for some Wings to Fly

Stuck on this winding road
It seems that a lifetime's passed
Looking for my purpose in life
Is it really here at last

I've seen the long road
And memories that sting
Some good, but mostly bad
And I wouldn't change a thing

Cus I feel in this life
is all of the good and bad
Life's that happy ending
we all know will turn out sad

So just enjoy the ride
and listen to who you want to be
Only you know what you want
Open up your eyes and see

Freestyle Friday #1: Racing Hearts

2010-04-02T09:35:00.006-04:00

Freestyle Friday will be an ongoing series every Friday, in which you will be able to hear an improvised piece of music I have recorded that week using my electric bass. Have a listen to the first recording.

Freestyle Friday #1: "Racing Hearts" as improvised by Ryan Anzures of The R.A.D.

Happy Birthday: Lou Reed

2010-03-03T20:05:00.013-05:00

I was asked by Props Radio to select 8 tracks and do a little write up on one of my musical heroes, Lou Reed, for his 68th birthday that just past on the 2nd.

Rather than repeat myself and flatter Mr. Reed anymore than I already have, go to Props and have a read for yourself.

Listen: "Lou Reed" 8 tracks selected by The R.A.D. mixed by Props.

Track Listing

"Street Hassle (Waltzing Mathilda)" Street Hassle
"Walk on the Wild Side" Transformer
"Average Guy" The Blue Mask
"A Gift" Coney Island Baby
"Women" The Blue Mask
"I Can't Stand It" Lou Reed
"Don't Talk To Me About Work" Legendary Hearts
"I Wanna Be Black" Street Hassle
"Perfect Day" Transformer
"New York Conversation" Transformer
"Coney Island Baby" Coney Island Baby

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

2010-03-03T13:02:00.005-05:00

"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall — think of it, always."

"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy?"

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

-Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

Happy Birthday: Bob Marley

2010-02-06T09:58:00.005-05:00

"Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!"

One Love. Rest in Peace, Bob.

- Robert Nesta Marley

AESCHYLUS & RFK

2010-02-05T07:22:00.001-05:00

“In our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.”

- From remarks by Senator Robert F. Kennedy on the death of the Reverend Martin Luther King, at a rally in Indianapolis, Indiana, April 4, 1968

As quoted from the greek tragedy Agamemnon by AESCHYLUS

Drop, drop– in our sleep, upon the heart
sorrow falls, memory’s pain,
and to us, though against our very will,
even in our own despite,
comes wisdom,
by the awful grace of God.

Shakespeare in Love

2010-02-04T14:38:00.003-05:00

"If Music Be the Food of Love, Play On."

- William Shakespeare

Angels and Demons

2010-02-03T13:08:00.007-05:00

"Even now in Heaven there are Angels carrying savage weapons."

-St. Paul of Tarsus

Groundhog's Day: 2/2/2010

2010-02-03T12:51:00.011-05:00

"So what do you want out of life anyway?"

-Phil Connors (Bill Murray), Groundhog's Day

Oh Sylvia.

2010-02-02T18:04:00.006-05:00

"I want to taste and glory in each day, and never be afraid to experience pain; and never shut myself up in a numb core of non-feeling, or stop questioning and criticising life and take the easy way out. To learn and to think; to think and to live; to live and to learn: this always, with new insight, new understanding, and new love."

-The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

New Track: "Hey Baby, Hey Honey"

2010-01-30T09:47:00.014-05:00

Been in the lab making new tracks for a new E.P. The first of which is "Hey Baby, Hey Honey." I slowed it down with this one.

Been building a new fretless bass from scratch and used it on this track, it sounds real nice, nice and warm, the tones are amazing. Thinking about putting in some trumpet parts to it, if anybody knows any good trumpet players.

Anyway, I'm talking to myself in this one. Trying to make sure I remember that Its all about stopping to smell the roses and enjoying the things we take for granted everyday. When you can enjoy these things, you don't need much else.

Have a Read:

Hey Baby
Let's Slow it Down
Hey Honey
Your the Talk of the Town
Hey Baby
Your going too Fast
Hey Honey
You gotta Make it Last

Saw your Likeness
In a Photograph
Caught me by Surprise
It Made me Laugh

Real Big Deal
I See You Are
Fancy Clothes
And a Brand New Car

singing:

Hey Baby
Let's Slow it Down
Hey Honey
Your the Talk of the Town
Hey Baby
Your going too Fast
Hey Honey
You gotta Make it Last

Still the Same Person
That You Were
Older, Wiser but
Mind still a Blur

But still that Same Kid
That wanted the World,
The Love of a Girl,
Some Diamonds and Pearls.

and singing:

Hey Baby
Let's Slow it Down
Hey Honey
Your the Talk of the Town
Hey Baby
Your going too Fast
Hey Honey
You gotta Make it Last

Want and Invincibility

2010-01-30T08:24:00.011-05:00

Been writing some new music lately, mostly about life and how I see it. Its a good exercise to really understand your feelings on another level.

I feel that everybody lives in their own different worlds, having different views, different "rights and wrongs,"... insight, but ultimately just trying to give themselves some sort of self satisfaction on some type of level to get through this miserable experiment of ups and downs, we call life. But I digress.

We, only as individuals, can satisfy ourselves and our individual needs. No one else can do it for us, though we are conditioned to think otherwise... Its all mental... What you don't want, you don't need.

But what determines,what you want? That's a loaded question, but the environment that surrounds you plays a major role. I also feel we all have basic animal instincts that decipher what we want. Its these instincts that we should take a priority in.

Its ingrained, no matter how much somebody can tell you to want something, if its not imprinted in your DNA your not gonna want it, unless you're brainwashed by the environment, which I feel most people are. Shit, I don't exclude myself from that last statement, but I am conscience of it and do practice bouts of solitude and self reflection to counteract its "negative" inflections.

Whether it be satisfaction from personal gain or satisfaction from giving to others, it makes no matter, in the end its feeding some personal need of yours to feel satisfied in some manner. Feeding the Ego.

I've been reading a lot of Buddhist literature, currently a book about a symposium at Harvard that the Dalai Lama put on, called "Mind Science." But the basic path to end suffering is to end cravings. To want nothing.

In my new zine, the first page reads " To Want Nothing is To Be Invincible." But in these days of the media, technology, television, fashion, and the internet, you're constantly bombarded with ideas of " What you should want," and not what can make you happy.

To find that out you have to go on an inner journey, that once complete, you don't come out the way you came in. But I'm finding that it allows you to perform extraordinary possibilities.

Sometimes I feel like Alice and Dorothy, just trying to find their way home, but enjoying the journey none the less.

Here's to our journey and to the impossible.

Shine On: Instant Karma Turns 40

2010-01-27T11:11:00.009-05:00

40 years ago to the day, John Lennon wrote, composed, and recorded the classic, Instant Karma, all in a single day. It took God longer to create the universe, and he's God. I guess the Beatles were bigger than Jesus.

In all seriousness, I believe in Karma and can notice its effects on an instant level to a certain extent. If you open up your eyes to the world around us, you can realize instant effects to your daily movements, much in the way a pebble thrown in a pond will create its ripple effect throughout the body of water that it is tossed into. (Thanks Bruce)

In an effort to create a more conscience awareness of my own actions, I look not only to my immediate surroundings, but also inwardly, much in tune with Buddhist prescriptions of living life.

Thank you John for sharing your vision. We are able to stand on the shoulder of giants and enjoy such a great view.

I Have A Dream

2010-01-18T19:00:00.007-05:00

Dreams can never be stopped, never stop dreaming.

R.I.P. + M.L.K.